I am open to going wherever He sends me, even if it isn't variable, you know, changeable seasons. I am OK staying in the south or in moving back to the Midwest. However, wherever it is that He sends me, my prayer is that I can find a "home." I miss home, really going home. I have never felt that Phoenix was home, even though my parents have been here since 2000. No, for some reason Phoenix has always seemed wrong for me, just plain wrong. I guess it is because I don't have very happy memories here. I have some good times, but mostly I experienced pain, sorrow, and a whole lot of suffering. It is not that I want to run away from Phoenix, no not in the least, it is just that I have never felt like this was the place where I was to feel at home. Perhaps it is because my "home" is in heaven, and every place I live in this life is simply "second best" to my real home with the Lord. I am sure that is it, but still there is a part of me that longs for a home somewhere, a home that says to me, "this is where you belong."
When I think of my perfect home, this is what I imagine it will be like. Why snow? I think it is simply because this is what I remember from my childhood, and because I have such happy memories from that time, this is what I think will make me happy. Is this true? Will a house in the snow make me happy? Not really, I just mean that when I close my eyes and imagine a place where I can be happy, this is the image that comes to mind first. Of course, I need my family around me, and I need to know I am living in the place of the Lord's choosing, etc. I just mean that this is what I see, what makes me smile, when I think about my future home.
Furthermore, I have decided that I want to live in a small town. Again, I am waiting on the Lord, but when I think about where my home will be located, this is what comes to mind. This is a wonderful street view from Circleville, Ohio. There are so many small towns like this in America, so I don't really mind where it is, per se. I love small downtown shopping areas. One thing I know is that I don't want to live in a place where the town is dying, where the buildings lay idle and abandoned. I want to live in a vibrant community where people still get out and enjoy visiting with their neighbors and where the downtown Main street is a destination place.
Moreover, I would like to be part of a community where there is a college near by -- of course -- so that I don't have to drive too far to work. I love college towns. I don't want to live in a major suburban area where the entire city is overrun by the University, no for sure. I simply mean, I love small college towns, where local schools are important to the community.
The Perfect House for the Holidays
It is that time of the year, you know, with Christmas right around the corner, and my mind is thinking about what kind of home I want to live in some day. I know that I want to live in a small town, near a good college (where I can teach) as well as live in a turn of the century home (1900-1930). I have always wanted this type of house, and I think now that this is what I would like to buy some day. I have tried to keep an open mind about it, like what if the Lord moves me some place where the houses are newer, more modern? I am okay with a modern home too, it is just that if I have a choice in the matter, this is what I want.
It is funny how my mind is fixed on this particular style. I cannot seem to step away from it, and even though I am okay with other styles of homes, my heart just "wants" to come home to this type of home.
I look forward to what the Lord has in mind for me, but for now, I will be content with what I have, where I am at, and with the home I share with my parents. God is good to me. He knows my needs well, and He knows that it is best for me to be right where I am -- at the least -- for this time, this season in my life. Perhaps some day, I will have a place like this to come home to every day after work. Perhaps this will be my life some day. I don't know, but whatever comes, whatever pleases the Lord, my heart's desire is to accept, to be content with, and to agree to His design, His purpose, and His plan for my life. Selah!