November 30, 2015

Moving Out and Up

It is a chilly day here in Phoenix. I left the house this morning at 6:20, and the outside temperature was barely 35 degrees. There was ice on my car window! You would think that I was living back east by the early morning chill. As I sit here (at home) while I finish some assignments, I still feel the chill in the air. My phone APP says the weather has warmed up to a balmy 52. Our high today is expected to hit 63, so for now, I am trying to keep myself warm and cozy. In truth, I am just as cold as I would have been had I stayed in the library at GCU this morning. I made the decision to drive home during my morning break, and while I am glad that I did, I am just as chilled as I was earlier walking across campus. Oh well...live and learn! As an aside...coming home in between classes costs me about $2 in gas. I save $10 in food by doing it, so I guess you could say I am ahead by $8 on this chilly Monday morning. LOL!

I titled this post, Moving Out and Up, because I am thinking about moving. Yes, I am thinking about it more today than before, and I have to believe that it must be the Lord's intention for me to start "considering" moving house. I love that phrase, "moving house." It is so British, you know, to leave out the article from between moving and house. I mean, are we moving a house (like the structure) or are we moving the contents in the house (as in things). Or are we physically moving our bodies (in a car, truck, van or trailer)? Moving house just means in vernacular that we are moving everything related to one's domicile or home life. I guess in that way, I am thinking about moving house fairly soon.

Getting Ready to Move

This first step in preparing for a move is to get ready to move. I know it seems simple, but for many people, the getting ready part is the most difficult. It involves all the planning necessary to move your home, your contents, and your belongings (like my cats) to another home. Getting ready, then, requires significant planning so that the actual move runs smoothly.  I have been thinking about moving for a long while. I have started the process of moving, the getting ready to move for about 10 years now, but I have never made it farther than just "thinking about it." I have wanted to move, for certain, but the thought of "how to move" always made me uneasy so I would just put it off.

Ten years ago, I was fed up with my life. I started to think about moving, but back then, that was an impossible dream.

In 2005, I was a SAHM, homeschooling her only child while trying to manage a family business that relied on my income (almost solely). I was living in my own home then, but the house had major needs (like physical work), and there never was any money available to take care of these things (it needed a new roof, new siding, inside plumbing work, etc.) It seemed we were always dealing with one thing or another, and so we just made the best of the situation. I was unhappy in this home, even though I picked it out for us. I regret that mistake, truly. I regret that I picked a house that sat on a busy street, and that "looked good" on the outside, but on the inside had a slap-dash fix up. The owners of the house financed it, and well, they did the cheapest work possible to make the home look good. I bought it, and I traded in my home in Scottsdale for this small tin-sided house in Phoenix.

We moved back in 1999 to be closer to the Christian school my son was to attend. But in the end, my in-laws refused to help pay for tuition (which they had promised) and there was no way we could afford it ourselves. We ended up leaving a lovely neighborhood, close to our church, and where we had some friends, for a house in North Phoenix that turned into a money-pit and a constant battled with the lien holder. My life was already stressed, so by the time we moved into this house, it became a living nightmare.

We lived in that home for 12 years, and in the end, we lost it due to foreclosure. I have to say that I wasn't sad to leave that house. It had difficult memories for me, and I never felt "at home" there. However, I was glad to be able to live there, to have a roof over my head, but when the end came, I was glad to see the backside of it. There are times when I drive by the street, and I glance down it to see that house. It has been bought and sold numerous times since 2012, and it appears to be in the same sad shape as when we left it. Sigh.

Since that time, I have moved house twice. Once to my beautiful town home in North Phoenix, and then later to this home that I share with my parents. The next time I move, I am hoping it will be for a good job (full-time), and it will be to move me closer to my love in AL. My hope was that the Lord would provide a way for me to move once -- like as in one time only. I would like to move once, one more time, and I would like to purchase a home, a forever home, so I never have to move again. Of course, that is wishful thinking, and it some ways it is a dream of mind that promises me that I can move once and be settled forever. LOL!

As I consider moving, you know, the real part of moving (the packing, the going part), I think the Lord may desire that I move more than once just to get me going, and then later, to get me settled. I think He might have a two or three step plan in mind. So while I don't like moving (the prep, the packing, and then the moving part), I do see His point. I mean, I need to move to a new city, and since I don't know anything about that new city, it is probably best for me to rent for a time just to make sure I like the place. Furthermore, I am not sure where I will be living, and whether my son will come with me (I think he will), so I need to stop temporarily and be settled to get acclimated to the new place. Hopefully, after a year or two, then I can find that forever home. If that is the Lord's will, I mean.

Thinking and Planning

In order for me to move house, I have to have a full-time job offer. I have withdrawn my two applications at United Healthcare, and I am settled with teaching at GCU for the spring semester. Should I need to stay another year here in Phoenix, and that is a real possibility, then I will teach at ACU/GCU in the fall of 2016, and GCU in the spring of 2017. This would give me four years at GCU, and three years at ACU. Plus I would have my PhD, and I would be free to move because my son would be graduated with his BA in Music degree. My parents, by that time, will need to either come with me or will need to move into assisted living or some other type of care. My Mom's condition, no doubt will continue to deteriorate, and my Dad will not be able to care for her at home. Both of them are nearing that time when they will need to have more care then I can provide. I am not looking forward to that day, but if it is the Lord's will, then I know He will provide a good place near me where they can be comfortable and well-cared for daily.

My hope is that the Lord will open a door for me soon. My preference would be to move next summer, just because the longer I wait, the harder it becomes to make ends meet. However, I am content to wait until 2017 to make that big move. I have always believed that my moving would be in 2017 and not in 2016. I had this date down because it coincided with my graduation from Regent University. I really didn't anticipate graduating earlier, and right now, there is a good chance that I will finish completely by October 2016. This means that I could seek full-time jobs as a PhD in 2016 or in 2017. Either way, I will be ready.

As I think about moving, and then I start planning that way, I am convinced now that I am on the right track. You see, I struggled so much to try to figure out which way to go when in reality I was already going in His direction. I had already made the choice back in 2013, but I was having serious doubts about His provision for me in this path. I had to come to terms with my choice, and that took a lot of time for me to do, but once I did, I was able to let go and let this way be. Once I let go, I received peace back into my heart and my mind, and I felt free to be this thing, to be a teacher, a professor, and to stay put as I mature in my career.

Steps to Completion

For now, my plan is to finish my studies at Regent. I am almost finished with this semester, my last class, and then I will begin the process of studying for exams. I am so hopeful that I can do well and pass my exams. I am confident that I will do well, but still there is lingering doubt about the time remaining to study, to prep, and to be ready for them come February 2016. The time will be here before you know it, and I need to be ready, so ready.

My plan then is to focus on completing Regent, on passing my exams, and on writing my dissertation. Once that is done, and I graduate, then I will be ready to find full-time work. Perhaps the Lord will provide before this time or perhaps He will wait until I am closer to finishing my degree. I am not sure, but either way, I know He has me well-covered.

Thus, today, I am thinking about moving, about taking those next steps, about preparing for that big move. Today, I am resting in His timing, His provision, and His plan. He is good, I know it, and I know His plan for my life is good. I rest now, waiting patiently for His move. He will move in time, and until He does, I wait for Him, and I watch intently, eagerly and with expectation and anticipation. He is good. He doesn't not tarry. He will keep His promise to me. He is good, so very good to me. Selah!

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