January 6, 2016
Feeling the Burn Today
It is amazing when I stop and think about how the Lord has worked this out for me. I mean, I can remember how panicked I was the first day of teaching back in 2013. I was absolutely struck by fear that I would fail, that my students would bolt, and that my college would recognized my lack of skill and fire me. Yes, I really thought I was not cut out for teaching. In truth, it has taken a toll on me, and I will say that teaching is the most difficult, but most rewarding experience ever. I love this job. I cannot think of any job I want to do more than this one. In fact, I would say that of all the jobs I have had over the past thirty years, this one in particular, is the best. I am absolutely in love with being a teacher. Yes, it has been a challenging process, finding jobs, then learning how to teach (without any particular training). Now, I am completing my third year at GCU (second at ACU), and I am finding that this job fits me like a very comfortable pair of shoes. It is a good thing, such a good thing, and I love everything about this line of work (even the sore feet and legs)!
The funny thing (as in marvelous timing-funny) is that just last week I considered switching careers and thought that the practical thing would be to head back into business. It made good sense to me, and I saw the volume of jobs that I could do posted on several jobs boards. I felt the Lord asking me to make a choice. Yes, even though I was content to remain where I was at, I felt the Lord was asking me to consider it again, to think about it, and to decide once and for all whether to stay on this path or divert to another more stable and income producing path. I thought about it, and I was even agreeable to it, should the Lord ask me to move. In the end, though, I came back to this path, and to the realization that while the money and stability are important to me, the job satisfaction, the schedule, and the accessibility for continued study/research were of higher value. I know I am making less money now than before, and while I need more income, I am content in the work I do. I confessed this to the Lord early yesterday, and relented as far as where I go and the work I do. I let go of all things prideful, and I accepted this lot, this way of being. In doing so, I accepted the truth that this is His way for me, and that from this point on, this is what I will do with the rest of my life. I will be a teacher. God is good, so very good to me. Selah!
It seems as if the moment I accepted this lot, accepted His way, something happened, something changed for me. First of all, I became settled in doing this work. Second, I found a sense of peace I haven't experienced before, and third, I received an invitation to interview at a school seeking adjunct online faculty. Yes, I received an email today asking if I would be interested in interviewing for an online English instructor position at a Christian University in the Midwest. I am so excited, really excited beyond measure. My hope now is that this is the Lord's will for my life, and that this job will provide for me. It is contract, so that means as needed, but even as needed is a blessing considering my current situation. I am praying for the Lord to make this way smooth and to provide to me either one or two jobs that would, in combination, provide enough for me as I continue my final push through Regent. Perhaps this is His will, His provision, and the way He intends for me to go? I hope so, I hope so.
As I think about this new door opening, I cannot help but think that this His intended provision for my life. I am walking in faith, and I trust Him to provide. He knows my needs, and He knows how much I need extra work right now. My prayer is for this to come to pass soon. My interview is scheduled for January 12th, so I should know something very soon. I am asking the Lord to move on my behalf and to make my path smooth. He knows my needs well, and I am safe in His mercy and grace. Selah!