On the upside, I just got an email from the coordinator of the Dual Enrollment program saying that the class should be cancelled. Hopefully the dean will concur. If not, then I will go to campus tomorrow and wing it again.
Update: I finally received confirmation that the class was officially cancelled. Apparently the other students who were set to attend didn't qualify for the course. So the good news is that I am not stuck teaching a difficult assignment. The bad news is that I am back to square one regarding income and trusting the Lord. Oh well...live and learn!
Praising Him Regardless
It is really strange how this whole scenario has worked out. First of all, I was praising God for the provision of extra cash this summer. I mean, the extra income was a blessing to me. But then it seemed that the entire opportunity was fraught with problems, from beginning to end. I did my best, I kept my head up and I showed up. All the while I thought "This is crazy! I can't do this work!" In the end, I came home frustrated and disappointed at the confusion, and I was feeling like I wanted the class to be cancelled.
In fact, I have been praying it would be cancelled. Yet, I still need the income, still want the income, but the work seems out of line with the effort. For example, in order to meet tomorrow class needs, I will be up all hours prepping for two students. This is out of the ordinary for me, it is more than what I should be asked to do. However, I will do it, if that is what is required.
It is funny, really, how things work out. I mean, here I am thanking the Lord for cancelling His provision for me. I am saying, "Lord, that was so much work -- more work than I wanted to do." I know I should be giving Him praise, praying that the class continues, etc. Isn't that right? Yet, I am deeply relieved, so relieved in fact that I am singing on the inside. I am so happy right now. I am so very happy.
I know that the Lord provided this opportunity for a reason. I know that I had to say "yes" to it. Deep inside of me, though, the closer I got to the actual teaching time, I started to dread the process. I wanted to run as far away as possible. I guess I am happy, content, and satisfied by having my summers off. Even if this means having little to no new income, and having to trust the Lord 100% for His provision. Am I crazy? I think I am.
I am giving Him praise today simply for providing a way out. I am trusting Him to provide the best opportunity for me. I worry a bit that I might get in trouble, but then I know my God reigns. He is good, so very good to me. He is my King, and He watches over me. I am looking to His hand of mercy and blessing. He will care for me. He will provide for me. He is good, so very good to me.
Psalm 96:1-3 NIV
Sing to the Lord a new song;
sing to the Lord, all the earth.
Sing to the Lord, praise his name;
proclaim his salvation day after day.
Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous deeds among all peoples.
For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise.