January 13, 2017

Power of Postivity

I woke up this morning after having two pretty nasty dreams. Yes, when I say "nasty," I mean "unpleasant." I woke up with that feeling of "doom and gloom," you know, that feeling when you simply feel like the world is spinning out of control or your little corner of the world has "gone all topsy-turvey." This is exactly how I felt this morning. First, I woke close to 5 a.m. Why? I don't have a clue. I simply rolled over and found myself awake. I never wake up that early -- never -- ever, so to wake up this early on my day off, well, let's just say that I wasn't a very "happy camper." I got up out of bed, did a cycle through the house (checking locks), and then returned back to bed, hoping I would sleep in for another hour or so. In fact, I slept for four, which simply gave me that awful "hungover" feeling. I am still feeling rather punchy, and despite a nice warm shower, I simply feel ragged and worn. Sigh!

The good news is that I survived a mid-morning meeting over Skype (yay!) for my new position as Adjunct at ASU. I finally got my credentials setup yesterday, and this morning, was assigned to my group of students (24 at last count). I am pleased, of course, but with all things new, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Still, I realize that God has this all figured out, and that through His marvelous grace, I am so well-covered. I am covered, and I am good. Enuf said.

Thinking About Next Term

So after my morning meeting, I was in the shower praying, and I couldn't help but wonder what the Lord was doing in my life right now. I mean, He knows I need a full-time faculty position. I know that this position will not come to pass until I have that degree in hand (May). Still, it seems that the doors that are opening for me are those that are part-time and not full-time. I get it, I mean. Most schools today are not hiring full-time faculty so part-time is the easy way to fill the need for teaching instructors. In fact, just the other day, I read an article online that for many major research universities, the emphasis now is on hiring teaching professors rather than academic research professors. I guess these schools simply cannot cut it when their faculty are engaged in research and not available to teach students. More so, the graduate or teaching fellow role must not be working either because it appears that many schools are reaching out to PhD’s for teaching positions that would normally fall to assistants.

As I was in the shower, I started to pray over my life. I am in this very good place right now. I have more work than I can handle, and with my PhD program ending, I am ready to take on more responsibility. I struggle some, I worry a lot, and often, I feel really confused about the direction I am supposed to take. I mean, should I begin to apply for positions in schools far from my home? Should I simply play the “wait and see what God does” route? I mean, what if I go in one way, and then the Lord opens a door that takes me in the complete opposition direction? I know, I know, God is going to bless the way that I should go, so really I am simply worry about things that I need not worry over. These are all details that He has covered. Sigh! He knows that I struggle with logistics, with making plans, and then with the actually obedience in following those plans. He knows me so well, so very well.

After I finished praying, I had to drive down to Tempe to file my I-9 paperwork with ASU. That trip took an hour driving and about 10 minutes of actual paperwork submission. Plus, the two dollars.  Let’s not forget the two dollars. It cost me all of $2 to park in handicap parking. Like to park for 10 minutes. Sigh!

Still, I am really glad that I am set now. I have my class of students, and I am ready to take care of them. Of course, as I mentioned earlier, I am worried about overload on my part, but I do believe that God has this figured out. He has me well covered.

Today has been a good day. I am rested, finally, and I am feeling that whatever is happening to me, it has been well planned and purposed by God. I feel confident that He has something wonderful prepared at the end of this semester. I believe and I claim in faith that the Lord has someone amazing and wonderful for me to do once I am finished, once I am graduated. Until that time, I will rest in His abilities and sufficiency.
In Closing

As I close this blog post today, I am reminded of how the Lord always goes before His people. He says that He will always lead us, never let us go anywhere alone, and that He will provide for us as He is guiding us. This is why I have come to say that I will trust the Lord as He leads, guides, and provides for me. I believe that there is scriptural precedent on this account, and that my faith is put to the test whenever I agree with His mandate. Therefore, today, I agree with Him, and I place my faith and my trust in Him yet again. He will take care of me. He will see to all my needs, and He will certainly provide a way for me to go. He is good to me, always so very good to me!

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