March 9, 2017

No Pain, No Gain

Happy Thursday! It is early, 8:30 a.m., and I have been up for an hour while the Pest Control company arrived to tackle our termites (again!) My room, in particular, is the place where the little buggers seem to show up. Today, the inspector said that we have a crack in the foundation, and this is the spot where these guys are finding their way into the wall. He sprayed, drilled, and injected goop, so hopefully, this will keep them away for a while (a couple months, I hope).

I am in pain today. My hip is hurting, and last night, I had horrible pain in my lower back, left hip, and thigh region. Some days the pain is so intense that I can barely function. I ended up falling asleep around 8:30 last night. I woke up after my son returned home at 11:30, and then got into bed and slept the majority of the night until about 7:30 this morning. In all, I actually did sleep well. I am still sore, but the sciatic nerve seems to be calm right now. Hopefully, I will have a good day of rest today, so that the pain dissipates completely. My prayer is that I don’t have any pain between now and when I have to fly to VA this weekend.

Speaking of my travel plans, I am praying that the forecast for snow sticks (no pun intended). I would like to see snow on the ground or flurries, but I really would like the roads to be clear by the time I arrive in Norfolk at 6:00 p.m. I plan on taking my heavyish coat, just to be warm. I also plan on taking my sweater and gloves/hat. In all, I am ready for this day to be over, and I am looking forward to graduation!
Thinking and Planning More

So this week has been a challenge for me. I made it through, praise be to God, and I have one more day of school (work) before I can focus 100% on my trip and my final defense. Right now, I am still in grading mode. My ASU, Regent and GCU classes either ended or were at the mid-term of the semester. I have had oodles of grading to do, but today, I hope to get all the drafts read in my Comp II classes, and my other assignments in my Lit class. If I can get all of my grading off my plate, I really can work some on my defense presentation as well as prepare my study notes. I plan to study on the plane to VA, and then spend the morning of my defense, running through my presentation. Honestly, I feel like I know this “stuff” well, so it is more that I will need to remind myself of key points, and then trust and rest in the Lord for His provision of clear memory and cogent articulation.

I feel confident today, at the least, less stressed. The anxiety that seemed to be with me the first part of the week has disappeared, and what is left is really a sense of calm and steadiness. I feel absolutely no worry right now. What is more, I feel like “nothing” at all is up in the air, on the bubble, so to speak. I guess you could say that right now, I have this feeling that everything is running as it should — full steam ahead. All systems are “go,” and I am in this place of complete control.

I am giving Him praise today because certainly this is not my doing at all. In fact, I was pretty upset yesterday (at myself, at my students, at my life), and after I came home from class, I crashed hard. I remember thinking to myself, “I just cannot go on.” I remember praying and saying to the Lord, “I need a new life,” which is my mantra these days. I simply meant that I need the Lord to handle what is happening in my life, and I need Him to provide a way out. I guess my sense of calm is simply a letting go of the worry, the fear, and the doubt, and acceptance that my life is not my own. I am at His will and His mercy, and by His grace, I go here or there. I do His work. I trust in Him. I look to Him. I rely on Him.

The more I think and plan, the more unsure I am of His intentions, other than the fact that they are always for my good. For example, I am in the waiting mode on the new job at Grantham University. I haven’t heard back from them regarding my background check or the next steps. I did submit all my paper work on 3/2, so in truth, it has just been one week (with a weekend in there). I know I am being concerned for no good reason, but still, once I know more, I will feel more settled.

In Closing

I know the Lord has me so well covered. I am prepared and ready for whatever He has in mind for me to do. Today, is a day of resting, of trusting, and of relying on Him for His perfect outcome.

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