May 23, 2017
More Thoughts on Moving
Waiting Patiently for His Sign
I am here at my desk now, and I am just beginning my daily blog post. Today has been a pretty good day for me, reflection wise I mean. I spent some time this morning in prayer and reading the Word (Deuteronomy 28, to be precise), and then I meditated on some of the things I read in this chapter of the Old Testament. I think one of the reasons I have been reflective today is simply because I am still trying to understand why I feel the way I do. I mean, I have this sense that I am doing the right thing, on the right track, so to speak, but I worry that I am following my own desires rather than the Lord’s. I was praying over this very thing today, and I feel pretty confident today that what I feel inside, the little inkling of desire is really His desire. I have asked the Lord to confirm this desire, to make it be real to me so that I will know for sure. I want to make sure that I am 100% seeking the Lord’s will for my life and not rushing out after anything that seems good, but could take me to a place the Lord doesn’t want me to go or to where I may not experience His best for my life. Of course, I know that anything I do, so long as I am seeking His will and permission, will be blessed. I simply know that the Lord will keep me from running down the wrong path. I believe He will, I mean.
As I ponder all of this today, I cannot help but believe that the Lord has a job waiting for me. I have felt confident that once I graduated from Regent with my PhD, I would be offered a full-time job. Not necessarily at Regent, I mean, but at another school. I have always focused on finishing my program and then pursuing a full-time job. Now, I am in this very spot. I have finished my program, and praise be to God, I am ready to take on full-time work. It is a scary thing to think about simply because I have also believed that no full-time jobs exist for me in AZ, and that I would have to move elsewhere to be hired. Of course, I have focused on being content, being happy to stay put, to remain right where I am, but in the back of my mind, I have known that I could not survive longterm on adjunct pay. I would/will need a full-time salary to make longterm goals and monthly ends meet.
This means that while I have said I am content to remain here in Phoenix, I am simply saying that I am OK if the Lord desires this for me. I accept it. I am willing to remain. However, the feeling of moving again has surfaced. I wondered if it was because I finished my program. I mean, for a while this spring, I simply had to stop thinking about it. I had to make up my mind to stay put so that I could finish my dissertation and close out the semester. Now, though, I am graduated. It is May 23, and my summer is approaching. I have always believed that summer 2017 would be my summer to move. I have always believed that 2017 would be my time to go.
So here I am. I am waiting patiently for the Lord to show me, provide for me, lead me to His promised land. In Deuteronomy 28, the children of Israel were on the threshold of entering the promised land of Canaan. Moses was instructing the people, telling them about both blessings and curses associated with God’s law. The people needed to understand that before they could enter the promised land and enjoy the prosperity there, they had to live a certain way. As I read through the words again, the blessings and the curses, I was reminded how I am standing on the threshold of my promised land as well. It is figurative, of course. I believe there is a “land of prosperity” waiting for me, and while it is not some physical piece of land, it is tied into my faith in the Lord. I am under the New Testament banner of grace, but God’s law is not done away with; rather, it stands fulfilled in Jesus the Christ. I am to keep His commands, and as Jesus clearly instructed, the summary of the law is reduced to loving God and loving others. Thus, I am at this place where I must choose whom I will serve, and I must go into my promised land, wherever that may be, with these commands forever pasted on my forehead, arms, and heart. Yes, the lintels of my heart hold the words of the Lord, the Law, and by Christ’s mercy, I am able to remember them, keep them, and abide in them.
I must wait, however. I am not sure how long. The children of Israel waited over 40 years in the desert before they were allowed to enter into the land God had promised to them. I have been waiting a long time too, not 40 years, but a lot of years. I long to enter into His rest, His promised rest, but for now, I must wait and endure. I must endeavor to live a wholly and holy devoted life, and I must rely on, adhere to, and abide in Christ. He alone is my Shepherd. He is my Rock and my Redeemer. He is my King, and I surrender all to Him, all to Him this good, good day.
As I close this blog post today, I rest in the knowledge that I am right where the Lord wants me to be today. I don’t know where I am going for work in the fall, but I know that wherever it is, it will be His will and His provision. I will wait. I will patiently wait. I will look up. I will seek His way, and I will rest in His will.