July 6, 2017

Thinking More

Happy Thursday! It is a good day today. I woke up after passing a good night. I slept pretty well, really all the way through the night. I’ve had some lumbar pain the past couple days, but finally, the pain seems to have subsided. I rested well, and after a slow morning, I am just now getting round to my blog and to my morning.

Of course, I did have my interview at 10:30 this morning. I am not sure how well I did, but suffice it to say, I am content with what I did do. The Lord knows if this is His provision for me. If He wants me to have this job, He will give me favor. If not, I consider it another opportunity to practice my interview skill. He is good to me, and He knows me well. What is more, He knows my needs really, really well. He knows that I need a full-time job, and that my life is sort of on hold until I get one. He also knows that the job requirements, perhaps the stress and so on, might be too much for me. Or He knows that this is a perfect fit, and as such, He will open the door and give me blessing and favor with the hiring team. He is good to me, so very good to me.
Planning and Preparing for Tomorrow

So now that this interview is over, I can only imagine the following scenario. First, if this is the job He has chosen for me, then it will come to pass. Thus, the scenario works out that I am hired to teach full-time. I let my secondary contracts go so I can focus on this one only, and then I settle into a routine teaching online for this school. Furthermore, I will also consider the fact that I am to be settled here in Phoenix, and that in this way, I am to remain in Arizona for the time-being. Perhaps through age 65 or retirement.

The second scenario looks similar, but as of right now, is unknown. So, let’s say that this school chooses a different candidate, and that this job proves to be not the right one for me. With that result, I will continue to look for the next opportunity, the next open door. I keep my eyes open to consider other jobs on the horizon. Right now, the only other job that could work for me would be a full-time position at Regent University. I have applied for the Assistant Professor position, but I have heard nothing at all toward this end. I am content to teach part-time for Regent, but I simply do not feel like the Lord intends to plant me in VA — despite my feelings on the matter.

Thus, as of today, this is what I know:
  • I am adjunct at several schools:
    • Regent University
    • ASU
    • GCU
    • Grantham (still in process)
  • I have good contracts in place that will provide well for me this fall and spring
  • The income I can earn is plenty, but the workload is intense
  • I am not sure if I can teach at so many schools, but I am willing to do so, should this be the Lord’s will for the 2017-2018 school year
I have some needs coming up this fall. Among these needs are a car for my son ($15-20K), a car for me (trading my car for a new car at $25k), monthly income to cover student loan payments. Thankfully, I have no travel plans for fall, and I have no major purchases or expected purchases. In short, I can live very comfortably working part-time at four schools. I can budget well, and I can make ends meet.

Longterm, however, I need full-time work. Longterm, I need stability and less work (contracts) so I am not so busy. But, until that works out, I have to take the work offered.

The sticky wicket in all of this thinking is whether I am to remain in Phoenix or move to another location this year. I have believed (and blogged) that the Lord does intend to move me. Yet, I have not moved, and at this time, there appears to be no movement toward that end. Thus, without really knowing whether I stay or go, all I can say is this: I must wait. I must be patient and let the Lord provide for me. I cannot force this issue, and I must simply rest. I must relent, and let His will come to pass in every area of my life. I must relent. I must let go. I must let go.
In Closing

I am stuck right now in thought. I am feeling convicted, guilty, and shamed by my performance (as always), yet I know I did my best. I let this accusation go, and instead, I rest in the fact that I am not condemned. My flesh may fail me, but the Spirit of God is stronger. He has me well-covered. My speech and conduct are under His control. He has me well covered.

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